Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
and she was petting her beer can
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Randomize
