i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
