She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Randomize
