Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
