You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
