nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
