like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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