Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
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