For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Randomize
