tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
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