guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
