Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Randomize
