I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Randomize
