Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
