we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Randomize
