I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Randomize
