She is in my trunk
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
