He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
It's official drugs can't kill me
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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