You're a womanizer and a bitch.
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
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