those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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