I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Randomize