i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Randomize
