you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Randomize
