He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
