Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Randomize