I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
