Farmville is her only friend.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
