i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I didn't notice because vodka
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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