hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
