Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
