Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
