would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
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