i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
