At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
