I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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