her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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