there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
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