is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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