This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Alive.
So much puke
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
