so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
