the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
My penis needs a shock collar
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
