So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
