Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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