i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
this boner is exhausting
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
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