no, he came in my armpit
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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