I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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