i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
