Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize