"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
it wasn't lemon gatorade
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
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Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
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I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.