Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(847): View more from Illinois

okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.

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(619): View more from California

He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on

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(404): View more from Georgia

She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.

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If You’re Hot, It’s Easier For You To Do These 27 Things
Read it at the TFLN blog
(732): View more from New Jersey

Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.

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(250): View more from British Columbia

Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.

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(920): View more from Wisconsin

I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.

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(856): View more from New Jersey

Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.

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(847): View more from Illinois

Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.

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