$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
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There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
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I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle