Texts From Last Night

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  (847): View more from Illinois

  I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?

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  (847): I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me? http://tfl.nu/3ncq
  Replies (5) Good night (1449) Bad night (4048)
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  (714): View more from California

  20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"

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  (714): 20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!" http://tfl.nu/w8i5
  Replies (33) Good night (5940) Bad night (1148)
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.

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  (913): season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown. http://tfl.nu/f9w7
  Replies (33) Good night (4827) Bad night (1067)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  that would be two times in a week with two different guys.

  (913): View more from Kansas

  they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?

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  (816): that would be two times in a week with two different guys. (913): they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right? http://tfl.nu/b8ql
  Replies (21) Good night (4249) Bad night (1253)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.

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  (610): so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried. http://tfl.nu/cyhc
  Replies (12) Good night (1058) Bad night (5121)
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.

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  (541): It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home. http://tfl.nu/scuu
  Replies (13) Good night (4186) Bad night (1273)
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  (713): View more from Texas

  His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.

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  (713): His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life. http://tfl.nu/34re
  Replies (12) Good night (3733) Bad night (747)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.

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  (717): Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that. http://tfl.nu/aa8o
  Replies (4) Good night (1648) Bad night (805)
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...

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  (540): I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff... http://tfl.nu/wq37
  Replies (3) Good night (633) Bad night (1006)
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  (218): View more from Minnesota

  There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.

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  (218): There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon. http://tfl.nu/foxi
  Replies (5) Good night (1670) Bad night (500)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up

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  (610): I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up http://tfl.nu/42mm
  Replies (0) Good night (577) Bad night (498)
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  (702): View more from Nevada

  In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.

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  (702): In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help. http://tfl.nu/624h
  Replies (3) Good night (255) Bad night (430)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?

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  (443): Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos? http://tfl.nu/shtc
  Replies (1) Good night (749) Bad night (191)
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  (904): View more from Florida

  I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"

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  (904): I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?" http://tfl.nu/r5s7
  Replies (1) Good night (293) Bad night (177)
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  (850): View more from Florida

  You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem

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  (850): You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem http://tfl.nu/nosq
  Replies (1) Good night (352) Bad night (113)

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