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• (773): View more from Illinois

  Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper

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• (214): View more from Texas

  Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that

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• (845): View more from New York

  you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away

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• (651): View more from Minnesota

  She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."

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  Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags

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• (289): View more from Ontario

  If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.

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• (917): View more from New York City

  Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.

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• (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.

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• (513): View more from Ohio

  well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them

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• (585): View more from New York

  I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?

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  21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers

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• (543): View more from

  So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?

  (256): View more from Alabama

  Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.

  (543): View more from

  You are an idiot.

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• (320): View more from Minnesota

  It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.

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• (904): View more from Florida

  I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not

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• (760): View more from California

  TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH

  (760): View more from California

  I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES

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• (406): View more from Montana

  Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.

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• (504): View more from Louisiana

  My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.

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