Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
