needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Randomize
