TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Randomize
