how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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