I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
someone threw a dead crab at me
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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