My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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