it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Randomize
