well you can't waste a boner
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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