I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Thank you for not boning my boss.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
