her vagine was all disorganized.
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
