i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
