apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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