and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
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